Bank On It

OK, I'm back. I've been busy the past several months settling into a new job, and LB has been busy recuperating from Hurricane Sandy. I did chastise myself more than once for failing to post during and after the disaster, but life took over and, well, here I am.

The grand occasion for my return is the manicure of the bank teller who helped me this morning at the local Emigrant Savings Bank branch. Actually, it's more than the fashion statement of this one teller - there are several who routinely jar me with their "personal flair." But before I fully launch, I will start by saying that I love Emigrant. Not as a much as I love Bethpage Federal Credit Union, but Bethpage does not have a branch in LB, so Emigrant has been my local bank of choice for years and years.

The reason I love Emigrant is the customer service. True, Emigrant is not as sophisticated as Citi or as snazzy as TD, but the branch manager and his team have gone to heroic lengths over the years to help me out of a few tight pinches, and that's worth everything in my book.

This morning's teller fails this test, too. "Good morning" is not in her lexicon. Eye contact is not in her repertoire. But what got me was her garish manicure. The hands coming at me through the little counter window to collect my deposit slip were simply too much to take at 8:15 in the morning.

I wonder if it's a P.C. issue, or maybe it's a form of community service for the branch to employ tellers who are so obviously not from central casting. It also makes we wonder what the people in HR would say, or whether the Emigrant employee manual contains a formal dress code. It makes me daydream about how I would write the code if I were in charge.

No plunging necklines. No nail art. No more than one ring per hand, one earring per ear, or one chain per throat. And no nightclub makeup. After all, you are practically nose-to-nose with a bank teller. What tellers wear below my sightline is of no matter to me. They could be pantless for all I care.  But at counter level, I want professionalism, not to mention common courtesy.

My must-have's would include: ability to greet the customer; ability to smile; ability to say "Thank you," "Is there anything else I can help you with?" and/or "Have a nice day."

I keep hoping I'll  get one of the experienced, know-how-to-do-it-right tellers when I visit the branch, but it's a coin toss. So I guess the next time I'm there, I'll have to be prepared to fend off the offensive with some old fashioned passive aggression. Fashion Police DVD, anyone?

Kookoo Koko Cops

Talk about compounding insult with injury. It's torture enough getting up at 5AM to go to the gym. But yesterday really hit a new low when  some cop had nothing better to do than to slap us with parking tickets while we slaved away inside Koko.  I couldn't believe it.  

It turns out there is no curbside parking on Park Avenue before 8AM - not that there is a sign saying so. The only sign in proximity restricts parking to 2 hours between 8AM and 5PM. So not only are we being held responsible for an unposted law, we have to take time off from work for traffic court if we want to fight it. 

Besides the unfairness of it all, the idea of penalizing local residents for frequenting local businesses is sheer madness in this economy. Long Beach is in danger of losing its anchor tenant - Waldbaum's - so you would think the city would be doing everything it could possibly do to help other businesses stay strong.  Making it impossible for Koko members to use the club during certain hours of the day is just plain senseless.

Welcome to the mad, mad, mad world of Long Beach. Where reality often defies logic.

Music to Whose Ears?

The new guy on the beach is going to get lynched if he doesn't lose his radio.What planet do people like this live on? The 1980s called and they want their boombox back. Why in the world doesn't this guy use an iPod like all the other people destined for permanent hearing loss, especially since he comes to the beach alone? The ironic thing is that I actually have the same taste in music. But if I wanted to listen on the beach I would be plugged into my own iPod. The blue-shirt rent-a-cop told me it is entirely legal for him to play music on the beach, so long as it is not overly loud. And I do have to concede that he did lower the volume without (audible) objection when asked by us, the people next us, the people next to them... Long Beach should take a lesson from the LIRR, that model of sensitive service, which recently introduced quiet cars. Quiet beach has a nice ring to it... music to my ears.

Parents Beware, Choose Doctors with Care

I have decided to post for all to see the letter I recently wrote to orthodontist Dr. Seth Kleinrock, regarding his misguided professional testimony on behalf of Dr. Scott Amer, a pediatric dentist whom we successfully sued for his appalling treatment of my son. The letter alerts Dr. Kleinrock to the subsequent findings of the professional review board, which severely penalized Dr. Amer for said treatment.

Parents, make sure you check the OPD website before engaging with any doctor for your children or yourself (http://www.op.nysed.gov/opd/).

Doctors, make sure you know for whom you are advocating, before putting your own professional reputation on the line.

It Must Be Spring

The annual spring ritual in Long Beach has begun. The boardwalk is once again under repair and construction. Why in the world we continue to patch and re-patch the wooden boardwalk with more wooden boards, instead of the synthetic boards used in the boardwalk benches, I cannot understand. I imagine the man-made stuff is more costly, but since the boardwalk is patched one section at a time as needed, the total cost would be amortized over several years. And since the synthetic material does not disintegrate, it would eliminate the annual replace-and-refurbish routine and the associated labor costs  (not to mention the disruption to boardwalk traffic).

If give is the issue for knees and ankles, a wooden lane could certainly be maintained for runners.

Could it be that maintaining the wooden boardwalk is a jobs guarantee for city workers? It wouldn't be the first time.

Grow Up Already

I am so tired of the pass-the-blame finger-pointing that passes for leadership in Long Beach. Today it's Jim Hennessey's turn (see his letter in this week's LB Herald - not available on the publication's website, as of this posting).

For the record: the Democratic City Council may have declared a fiscal emergency.  But it was the independent auditor hired by the previous (Republican) administration whom the Wall Street Journal says "described a slow-moving tsunami of deficits." And it was Moody’s Investors Service who downgraded Long Beach’s $48.3 million general obligation debt to its lowest investment grade.

It's time to face facts, no matter which party is in control. We have a problem, and it's going to take talented management, steely resolve and extreme optimism to solve it. Let's hope our current City Council and City Manager have what it takes.

Is it just me?

Is it just me, or does anyone else feel like Granada Towers on Riverside Blvd. has been under construction for decades? We moved to Long Beach in 1989, and I would swear I've never see that corner unscaffolded.