Kookoo Koko Cops

Talk about compounding insult with injury. It's torture enough getting up at 5AM to go to the gym. But yesterday really hit a new low when  some cop had nothing better to do than to slap us with parking tickets while we slaved away inside Koko.  I couldn't believe it.  

It turns out there is no curbside parking on Park Avenue before 8AM - not that there is a sign saying so. The only sign in proximity restricts parking to 2 hours between 8AM and 5PM. So not only are we being held responsible for an unposted law, we have to take time off from work for traffic court if we want to fight it. 

Besides the unfairness of it all, the idea of penalizing local residents for frequenting local businesses is sheer madness in this economy. Long Beach is in danger of losing its anchor tenant - Waldbaum's - so you would think the city would be doing everything it could possibly do to help other businesses stay strong.  Making it impossible for Koko members to use the club during certain hours of the day is just plain senseless.

Welcome to the mad, mad, mad world of Long Beach. Where reality often defies logic.

Music to Whose Ears?

The new guy on the beach is going to get lynched if he doesn't lose his radio.What planet do people like this live on? The 1980s called and they want their boombox back. Why in the world doesn't this guy use an iPod like all the other people destined for permanent hearing loss, especially since he comes to the beach alone? The ironic thing is that I actually have the same taste in music. But if I wanted to listen on the beach I would be plugged into my own iPod. The blue-shirt rent-a-cop told me it is entirely legal for him to play music on the beach, so long as it is not overly loud. And I do have to concede that he did lower the volume without (audible) objection when asked by us, the people next us, the people next to them... Long Beach should take a lesson from the LIRR, that model of sensitive service, which recently introduced quiet cars. Quiet beach has a nice ring to it... music to my ears.

Parents Beware, Choose Doctors with Care

I have decided to post for all to see the letter I recently wrote to orthodontist Dr. Seth Kleinrock, regarding his misguided professional testimony on behalf of Dr. Scott Amer, a pediatric dentist whom we successfully sued for his appalling treatment of my son. The letter alerts Dr. Kleinrock to the subsequent findings of the professional review board, which severely penalized Dr. Amer for said treatment.

Parents, make sure you check the OPD website before engaging with any doctor for your children or yourself (http://www.op.nysed.gov/opd/).

Doctors, make sure you know for whom you are advocating, before putting your own professional reputation on the line.

It Must Be Spring

The annual spring ritual in Long Beach has begun. The boardwalk is once again under repair and construction. Why in the world we continue to patch and re-patch the wooden boardwalk with more wooden boards, instead of the synthetic boards used in the boardwalk benches, I cannot understand. I imagine the man-made stuff is more costly, but since the boardwalk is patched one section at a time as needed, the total cost would be amortized over several years. And since the synthetic material does not disintegrate, it would eliminate the annual replace-and-refurbish routine and the associated labor costs  (not to mention the disruption to boardwalk traffic).

If give is the issue for knees and ankles, a wooden lane could certainly be maintained for runners.

Could it be that maintaining the wooden boardwalk is a jobs guarantee for city workers? It wouldn't be the first time.

Grow Up Already

I am so tired of the pass-the-blame finger-pointing that passes for leadership in Long Beach. Today it's Jim Hennessey's turn (see his letter in this week's LB Herald - not available on the publication's website, as of this posting).

For the record: the Democratic City Council may have declared a fiscal emergency.  But it was the independent auditor hired by the previous (Republican) administration whom the Wall Street Journal says "described a slow-moving tsunami of deficits." And it was Moody’s Investors Service who downgraded Long Beach’s $48.3 million general obligation debt to its lowest investment grade.

It's time to face facts, no matter which party is in control. We have a problem, and it's going to take talented management, steely resolve and extreme optimism to solve it. Let's hope our current City Council and City Manager have what it takes.

Is it just me?

Is it just me, or does anyone else feel like Granada Towers on Riverside Blvd. has been under construction for decades? We moved to Long Beach in 1989, and I would swear I've never see that corner unscaffolded.

The Court is Out

The lay-offs taking place across the Nassau County payroll have put several hundred people in serious economic jeopardy. The necessity of the curtailments should put all workers on notice. If ever there were a time to make ourselves indispensible -- to do our jobs as well as they can possibly be done -- this is it.

Someone forgot to tell the woman at the front desk at the Long Beach City Court office.

This entitled worker obviously thinks she is immune not only from job insecurity, but also from common courtesy and plain old I give a shit customer service. For a minute there, I almost thought I was standing at the DMV.

I recognized her as she took a full 30 seconds to saunter all the way from her desk, a full 10 feet to the customer service window. The attitude clearly belonged to the same person who conveyed barely intelligible information on the phone when I called to confirm the hours of operation. Not understanding how to handle something I completed on my form, she turned on her heel and headed with the speed of a glacier to consult her supervisor -- without saying a single word to me and leaving me hanging to see what would come next.

The supervisor came out himself and to his credit was very professional, courteous and helpful (how sad that this bears special commendation).

But the biggest surprise of all was that no one in the office of approximately 10 people was aware of the Long Beach business I was inquiring about. How could they not know a storefront business in LB? There is only one logical answer: they don't live or shop here.

They do, however, work here. And maybe they should value that fact enough to put a little extra effort into doing their jobs well, into showing that they do in fact give a shit. There are undoubtedly many unemployed local residents who would gladly take those jobs and do them better than the people who are currently lucky enough to have them.

Uh Oh

My husband just called to tell me that the construction site on LB Road in Island Park is going to be a King Kullen. That's seriously bad news for Waldbaums and Long Beach.

King Kullen, the best supermarket chain on Long Island in my opinion, will have no trouble at all stealing business from Waldbaums, which has fallen way down the charts since its heydey. The store is not sparkling clean, the produce is overpriced and under-appealing, the checkout system is slow and often not functioning well, the front desk staff is surly and/or disinterested, and the overall shopping experience has lots of room for improvement.

We can be sure that King Kullen knows all of this and intends to take full advantage of the opportunity that is ripe for the picking. Which leaves Long Beach in a very tenuous position: Waldbaums needs to seriously step up its game,  or we may be left with the biggest retail vacancy possible, smack in the center of town.

Happy New Year, new City Council.

A New Masterpiece in Town

Bravissimo, Cafe Picasso! My husband and I had dinner at the new restaurant last night and I'm still thinking about it. Yum! Personal pizza appetizer followed by broiled tilapia with shrimp and crab for me, and black linguine with shrimp, scallops and clams in red sauce for him. Yum! (did I say that already?).

I was delighted to observe a steady stream of customers during the hour or so we were there - who were no doubt looking for a quality meal, as we were. Not so easy to find in LB these days, unfortunately. Table cloth service delivered by professional waiters made the experience all the more enjoyable, chased by a bottle of Sambuca served alongside my delicious espresso. We left full, happy and doggy-bag laden. Will definitely be going back.

Something Really Stinks: Part II

...and this time it's not the sewage plants (see post from 11/1), it's the politics surrounding the sewage plants. It's pretty obvious from the letter I received from Peter Schmitt, presiding officer of the Nassau County Legislature, that the real problem is in-fighting between the Democrats and Republicans. How unusual!  Hopefully, neither party will let Long Island's only natural asset disappear before the fight is called. Judge for yourself: http://ge.tt/9soR7UA?c.

Something Really Stinks

On the ocean side of Long Beach island, pristine, white sands as far as the eye can see. On the bay side, sewage sludge from two different plants pumping freely into Reynolds Channel.

The Long Beach and Bay Park sewage treatment plants have both been graded "D" by the Citizens Campaign for the Environment, which ranked 10  plants across Long Island for permit violations, energy efficiency and public notification of untreated or excess release of effluent into local waterways. The plants were tied for worst place, with scores of 66, compared to Huntington's score of 97 and A+ rating. But there's no need to take the campaign's word for how bad it is.  You can see for yourself on YouTube.

There are no words sufficient to express the disgrace and sheer sadness of the reality that we are poisoning our own waterways. But there is something we can do to at least ameliorate the immediate health hazard. We can pressure the Nassau County Legislature to pass the Right to Know Bill, which has been languishing in Mineola since last spring. Everyone who cares should sign and send the Spill Bill letters that have been circulating, before Election Day. Let's let our elected officials know that they can't ride to glory on the backs of our dead fish.

An Accident Waiting to Happen

As I left the gym this morning at around 7:40, I noticed a white LB police radio car stopped at the foot of the left-hand turning lane on eastbound Park Avenue, between Edwards and Riverside Blvds. (where you make the turn for Waldbaums). The cop was seated at the wheel, chatting with two women (girls?) through his drivers' side window.  Then a black SUV police car pulled up alongside in the left traffic lane and put on his rotary lights - presumably to divert traffic.

I took all this in as I got into my car and drove home. Around the corner, I realized I had left my glasses at the gym, so I doubled back, parking in the center mall on Park Ave.  The two police cars and the two women were still there, doing what for all the world appeared to be socializing (when's the last time you leaned into a radio car window to chat it up during an official police action?).

Returning to my car, I drove away, made a left and stopped at the southbound light on Edwards, where I observed rush hour traffic mounting. I noticed that the black police SUV was not marked on the rear and that cars heading east did not realize that it was a police vehicle (even though the roof lights were on and turning, in broad daylight it was not easily noticeable from a distance). This was obvious from all the honking, lane switching and confusion as traffic came up unexpectedly on the stopped SUV in the left lane, and before my light turned green, I heard the inevitable crash.

I didn't stick around to see what happened, and hopefully my ears were playing tricks on me. But it left me with this question: what in the world were two police officers in two separate police vehicles doing socializing with two pedestrians in the middle of a busy street? At rush hour no less.

It was certainly an accident waiting to happen, and unfortunately, they didn't have to wait too long before it did (I think).

The Best Kind of Surprise

There we were Friday night, enjoying the hospitality and company of our dear friends Erika and Phil Cabasino, and who should walk through the door but Jake! Phil Jr. had just picked him up from JFK and whisked him home just in time to surprise us for dinner. What a fabulous set up. Erika managed to keep a straight face the whole time, even while I recounted my conversation the previous night with Luke, when my antennae were raised by my suspicions that something was up. Was Jake getting a new tattoo? Shaving his head? Piercing his face? Eloping? Little did Darryl and I expect my shaggy, unshaven, thinner college freshman to materialize in the flesh. Voila!

Of course eating became the theme of the weekend, and our dinner at Mateo's ended up costing as much as Jake's plane ticket home (no joke). But it was worth it to have him home -- even though the waiter gave me a regular double espresso instead of a decaf, which kept me up all night.

Then today, I had a wonderful day in the city with my other closest friend, Phyllis. It was a real girls' day out on a beautiful fall Sunday.We walked from Penn Station up Ninth Avenue, had lunch in a terrific little restaurant open to the street, and then saw Relatively Speaking on Broadway - a collection of one-act plays by Ethan Coen, Elaine May and Woody Allen. What a hoot! Then a stroll back down Ninth Avenue, a cocktail at a pretty little bar along the way, and back onto the train.

What a  great weekend.

Vindication

A number of my Facebook friends took issue with my post mortem on the Quiksilver Pro. I stand vindicated by today's Long Beach Herald.

Quote #1: Quiksilver's vice president of marketing, Mike Matey, told the Herald that dealing with the city had its challenges - and that the company had contingency plans to hold the event elsewhere - but that Quiksilver wanted to make it work in Long Beach and ultimately pulled together with the city...

Quiksilver itself says the court is still out as to whether the Pro event will return to Long Beach next year. Who can blame them? They've seen our city for the amateurs we are. Thank God for the great surf - it may be the saving grace that could bring the Pro back in 2012.

Quote #2: [LB City Manager Charles] Theofan noted those challenges as well. 'I would say that there were some disagreements from the administration's point of view about the festival itself, and there were many things that changed from what [Quiksilver] originally announced in their press release..."

Hence, the reason for retaining an experienced event planning consultant with big-brand credentials to represent the city's interest.

Other Aha! Moments

Theofan said that the city granted Quiksilver an event permit for the competition and surf site - including its merchandise tent... if the Quik Pro N.Y. returns, the city and Quiksilver would most likely have a contract outlining the details of the event.

OMG. It's worse than I thought. Only the most naive of city administrations would allow an event of the magnitude originally permitted to proceed without a contract and without negotiating in the city's best interest.What in the world were they thinking??!!

It has yet to be determined how much the city will be reimbursed for the event.

Ditto the above. For additional commentary, see all of my previous posts on this subject.

Could somebody please talk some sense into our city leadership and persuade them that the investment in an experienced counselor will more than pay for itself in risk mitigation, revenue potential and all-around resident satisfaction? I, for one, would be very willing to offer some names for consideration. It is a wise man who recognizes his own limitations and is confident enough to surround himself with others smarter than he.

Post Mortem

There is an awful lot of residual rancor about the recently concluded Quiksilver Pro. If you believe the gossip, the breakdown is between Quiksilver and the city. And if you believe the media, it's between the residents and the city.
 
Um, is there a common denominator here? Does it start with C?

The dissent need not be water under the bridge. It can serve as a lesson for how we can do this sort of thing bigger and better next time, with clearly defined benefits to the taxpayers.

I believe the success of the entire event was undermined from the start by the appointment of Lenny Remo as the city's chief liaison with Quiksilver. Remo, a professional restaurateur and former City Council member, has served as the city's secretary of labor relations since January. How this qualifies him to negotiate with a global brand highly experienced in large-scale events the world over I cannot begin to imagine. Good intentions aside, Remo was out of his league from the get-go. He didn't stand a chance of realistically envisioning the myriad details, the potential impacts on the city or the ways in which Quiksilver would seek to manipulate logistics to its own advantage. This was no partnership; it was a business contract. And playing David to Quiksilver's Goliath without appropriate ammunition was a naive miscalculation of incredible magnitude.

Rather than relying on local leadership (term used loosely), the city should have retained the services of a qualified special events consultant experienced in big-brand sponsorship to represent our interest. The consultant would have helped us evaluate the opportunity, audit past QS events for purposes of comparison, talk with former host cities, develop a goals statement, itemize desired deliverables, articulate non-negotiables, and facilitate negotiations. The outcome would have been a business plan covering everything from music to BMX demonstrations to liquor sales  -- just some of the items of bickering and dissension. There would have been few if any surprises, as a game plan covering all possible contingencies -- including weather -- would have been in place.

Most important, an experienced consultant would have helped make sure that LB derived more than simple  glory from the event. Increased revenue to local businesses would not have been left to chance, but rather planned for and facilitated through such means as free east-west bus service; an LB visitor card, with embedded coupons to restaurants and retail stores; or other vehicles. In addition, a defined benefit to taxpayers, such as a stipend for repaving our winter/flood-ravaged streets, upgrading the boardwalk or repairing Magnolia Playground, could have been included as a key part of the event design.

There was no need for the last minute waffling about whether and how to proceed following Hurricane Irene, or for the protest march staged by Unsound and other event advocates. A professionally executed, comprehensive event plan would have obviated these completely avoidable circumstances.

A citizens' advisory board would have been another asset to mitigate taxpayer backlash and create buy-in before specific decisions were carved in stone.

There is talk on the street that Quiksilver is now soured on Long Beach and will certainly not return next year. I hope this is not the case. There is still tremendous potential for the 2012 Pro event to be a rousing success both for QS and for LB, if only the proper management steps are taken in advance.

Let LB do the unprecedented: admit to its shortcomings this year, commit to doing better next year, and submit to a new-and-improved management plan to bring home the gold with Quiksilver in 2012.

Forever Starts Tomorrow

No parent should ever have to bury a child. Tomorrow is going to be a black day for Marie and Al Doerbecker. My heart bleeds for them.

Good Night, Irene

It has been forever since I've posted and I feel terribly guilty. But the truth is that while everyone else has been bemoaning how fast the summer is going, I was busy relishing every second of it right from the get-go. Rather than lamenting its passing, I have been focused single-mindedly on appreciating and enjoying the season while it is upon us. Net net: I have ignored my blogging responsibilities. And so, I take a moment tonight to note a few developments and will catch up on others once the Labor Day ritual has been performed.


Of course, the big news of the day is Tropical Storm Irene (formerly Hurricane Irene), which has kept us all glued to our TVs and most of us bound to our homes. As it was unfolding, I was already conscious of the "one day" appeal of this weather system; to wit, "one day you'll regale your grandchildren with tales of where you were and what you saw." We completely flounted the mandatory evacuation order and stayed put. I figured that we live in a big brick house that could withstand pretty much any gale-force wind, but it was never put to the test. Hurricane Irene was downgraded before she ever reach our shores.

We used the weekend as a party invitation. Bloody Marys yesterday, Mimosas today. What could be better? Truth be told, we suffered much more during the rain storm two weeks ago. But Irene was great for an adrenaline jolt, and while I don't wish for a repeat any time soon, we all came out just fine in the end.

That's all I've got for tonight. More later. Good night, Irene.

All Bets Are Off

Saturday morning

If I were a betting woman, I would have lost a big one this weekend. I never thought the City of Long Beach would actually pull off the re-opening of the National Blvd.beach restrooms right on schedule, in time for the Fourth of July weekend, as promised. Rarely have I been so glad to be wrong. What for years was an unsanitary cinder block necessity of last resort has morphed into a tiled mecca with 15 stalls, 4 sinks WITH SOAP, and 2 super-duper hot air hand driers. Yippee!

Our group, men and women alike, was giddy with delight. We kept trekking up the beach to revisit the new haven. Dermot declared that he would be packing a toothbrush the next day.

Sunday afternoon

Alas, no good deed goes unpunished. By this afternoon, our precious new refuge was displaying an ominous resemblance to its filthy forebear. An outsized roll of toilet paper, pilfered from a stall, was laying sodden on the edge of a sink. A wad of tissue was balled up on the floor underneath. A mother was washing her infant in one of the handsinks, and she gifted us her used bathroom tissue next to the faucet when she finished.

As a I stood surveying the scene in frank disbelief, I was momentarily gladdened to see an attendant with a broom and dustpan enter. In fact, I spoke to her to commiserate about the rapid state of disrepair unfolding before our eyes. But alas, after a few half-hearted swipes at some sand accumulated on the floor, she turned and left, leaving the restroom virtually untouched and unchanged by her presence.

I followed her outside to the maintenance truck and asked if she had seen the refuse in the room she had just departed, the one in which she had stood just seconds earlier, the one that she is employed to clean and maintain. Her answer was no. But she assured me that she'd be back later to clean it up. That was at 3:30. At 5:45, I stopped in on my way home to check. No surprises there - nothing had changed.

And I guess that's the bottom line. It's business as usual in Long Beach. It took an outside force (the upcoming Quiksilver Surf Competition) to deliver what the taxpayers had been asking for for years and years -- the simple dignity of a restroom fit for human occupation. And now that we have it, it looks like we may have to wait for Quiksilver to actually arrive in Long Beach to get the simple maintenance we need to keep the restroom in proper sanitary condition.

Or maybe we'll get lucky and I'll turn out to be wrong again. Lightening could strike twice, couldn't it?

Nassau Residents in Bondage

Can I please have $400 million? I need to know by August 1, because if you can't do it, I'll find someone else who will. Need more time to think about it? To figure out how you're going to finance the loan you'll need in order to show me the money? Tell you what. I'll make you a deal. If you can do the math, analyze the long-range implications, consult your advisors, and you decide in my favor, I'll reimburse you for any expenses you incur in the process. But if you decide against me, the costs are on your balance sheet, not mine.

What idiot would take that deal? Apparently, Charles Wang is hoping we will.  We being the taxpayers of Nassau County.

The $400 million in question is the amount of the bond Nassau County will have to float in order to finance a new Coliseum and minor league baseball park at Mitchel Field.  Wang projects that the new complex will throw off at least $14 million a year in sales, as well as additional tax revenues from those sales, which will largely offset the debt service.

Whether or not that is true, and whether or not the project is a good or bad deal for Nassau, incentivizing us to make sure the vote goes his way seems like a stacked deck to me. Wang should either cover the costs of the referendum, however it turns out, as an investment and a show of good faith, or the county should finance it on the merits of the proposal. Paying off financially strapped taxpayers to effect a particular outcome feels suspiciously like graft.

Don't we already have enough of that kind of problem in Nassau without entering into bondage to make that sort of thing official?

Sugo: Don't Go

Sugar is a necessary if hidden ingredient in many pasta sauces. It cuts the acidity of the tomato and enhances the richness of the flavor. But when the sauce is sweet enough to substitute for dessert, or to provoke the onset of diabetes, someone has used a heavy hand. Such was the case at Sugo a few nights ago, where our disappointing meal was gamely delivered by a frazzled server working the crowded room solo. All in all, it was not a great experience, and although I've always enjoyed Sugo's electic dining room as well as it eclectic menu, we will not be returning any time soon without a clean bill of health from our dentist.